An
Experience :
The following text was written by Vera
Freeman, one of BDCL's members who is a lay reader in the Church of
England. She was a senior nurse for many years before becoming deafened.
"When I worship, they seem to have a different
God from mine.
This was what I felt when I lost
my hearing three years ago.
I felt shock, feaur, anger and sadness.
I experienced the same feelings when my mother
suffered an unexpected heart attack and died. How
could I worship this God; how could I believe in him.
I had always felt nearest to God in my church
in Winterbourne.
Now -
I
could not hear the prayers being spoken.
I
could not hear the messages from the bible readings - or the words of
the hymms as the congregation
sang their praises.
I had tried to join in, but I caused discord so now I remain sliet.
Then, my jumbled thoughts began to clear
I thought of what St Paul says in Corinthians 12 - If the ear should
say - 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body' - that
would make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were not
an eye, where would be the hearing?
..... God arranged the organs in the body, each one of them as he chose....
The parts of the body which seem to be weaker, are indispensable.
..... If one members suffers, all suffer together; if one member is
honoured, all rejoice together.
Suddenly, I feel honoured I can take part:
I can read the bible and understand some of the words that are written
there.
I can hardly hear the music, but I know that others can -and that is
wonderful.
I can see the flicker of the candle on the altar and the smoke ascending
like a prayer.
I can kneel like 'Christopher Robin' and feel the stillness of the Lord's
presence.
I know God comes through my heart and shares my thouths.
I can see the crucifix in its Glory and Power.
I remember how the Lord suffered for me - to save me from my sins.
I can feel the texture of the Bread and smoothness of the Wine.